Hello, farm family!
When did you last experience conflict in your farm life? Most of us experience some form of conflict every day, though we might not immediately recognize it.
Types of Farm Conflict
Some of us only equate “conflict” with yelling, screaming, throwing things and other forms of violence. However, farmers face many types of conflicts daily. Conflict is whenever we have desires, needs, values or goals that we struggle to meet due to opposition from:
- Ourselves (inner conflicts)
- Others (relational conflicts)
- Nature, such as weather (environmental conflicts)
- Other things beyond your control, such as legal frameworks, medical crises or mechanical breakdowns (situational conflicts)
You may think these types of conflicts are just a natural part of farming and don’t deserve a lot of attention. On one hand, you’re right. Farming is indeed full of unavoidable conflict. On the other hand, persistent conflict of any kind can take an enormous (and unnecessary) toll on your physical, emotional, relational, spiritual and financial health.
Impacts of Farm Conflict
Unmanaged farm conflict increases farmers’ stress levels and can lead to unhealthy changes in weight, sleep, blood pressure, headaches, chronic illnesses and more.
Emotionally, farm conflict can increase irritability, reduce enjoyment of your work and relationships and lead to mental health struggles such as depression and withdrawal.
Poor physical and emotional health put added stress on relationships as well. Think of the last time you had a stomach bug. How engaged were you with your spouse, children or farm clients? Relationships can withstand withdrawal and neglect for a couple days, but weeks, months or years of that leads to resentment, frustration, broken trust, fractured friendships, failed partnerships, divorce and more.
Discomfort in our bodies, minds and relationships creates related discomfort in our spirit. We doubt our own value and that of our work. We lose our sense of purpose and place in the world.
Eventually, these symptoms impact our ability to perform quality work on our farms and within our communities. Our farm help feels unsupported and undervalued, so their productivity and reliability suffer. This can reduce our farm yields and income. It can also lead to poor choices with the money we do make, all of which increases financial stress.
Ways to Manage Farm Conflict
If you recognized any of the symptoms of unresolved farm conflict in your farm life, you are not alone. The good news is that you can start managing your farm conflict today with three steps.
Although they are simple, they’re not always easy. They also take practice.
Before we get started:
- If the following steps bring up really big emotions, stop! Take a walk. Call a friend. Drink some warm milk. Watch a funny cat video.
- Some farm life conflicts require the support of a professional. It’s always a good decision to talk to a counselor or the 988 hotline if you feel overwhelmed.
- Identify and understand your most common farm life conflicts – Take a few minutes to write a list of the conflicts you regularly experience. Don’t question if they’re really “conflicts.” If they come to mind, write them down. At the very least, they are stressors … and most stressors can fit into one of those conflict categories.
When you’ve finished writing, label each conflict as one of the four types listed above. Then ask yourself some questions:
- Which type of farm conflict is most common in my life?
- What is the cause of the problem? Are there any common elements in the conflicts, such as weather, old equipment, a setting, a particular person?
- Which of those conflicts feel the most burdensome? Which would you most like to have resolved? Which are you most/least comfortable addressing?
These questions may bring up some strong emotions. (I, for one, never like it when I realize I am the direct or indirect cause of a particular conflict!) Keep in mind that the goal here is not to find someone or something to blame. It is simply to understand.
- Reduce the causes of farm conflict – Pick the one conflict on your list that you can most easily prevent. Do you need to purchase a new piece of machinery to prevent daily or weekly breakdowns? Create a plan for how you are going to get that equipment.
Does an employee forget a key step when closing out the register? Write a step-by-step process list and post it by the register.
When we identify and remove the causes of conflicts, we free up energy to creatively support our personal wellbeing, relationships and farm business. An ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of cure.
- Manage the effects of farm conflict – Some of your farm conflicts may arise from situations beyond your control. Others may be issues you helped create and can’t immediately resolve. This is where we need to limit the toll the conflict takes on us, our relationships and our operations. Key tips include:
- Meeting your physical needs for food, hydration, rest and movement
- Practicing deep breathing and mindfulness to keep you centered and to trick yourself into feeling more peaceful and in control
- Looking for the positive (I often say “If what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, I’m becoming Wonder Woman!”)
- Practicing these strategies each day with your family and farmworkers
Conflict is inevitable. If we learn how to manage it, it can become a source of growth for ourselves, others and our farms.
I’d love to hear how these strategies do (or don’t!) work for you. Connect with me at kcastrataro@pen-light.org, penlightfarmers.com or Pen Light LLC on YouTube.
It’s your time to grow!
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