One of the most frightening experiences for anyone is learning that a friend or family member is considering ending their life.
The impact of suicide in farming communities is unique. In rural communities with smaller populations, many people know “everyone” and there’s a familiarity among individuals. Dr. Tara Haskins, Total Farm Health director, AgriSafe Network, said when there’s cause for concern about an individual considering suicide, creating a pause through intervention can potentially save that person’s life.
“We don’t really hear the stories of how suicide impacts our communities,” said Haskins, who has extensive experience in suicide prevention training. “We hear about homicides – that’s what makes the news – but the fact that we don’t hear as much about suicide keeps it in the shadows.”
Haskins said that if someone discloses to another individual a desire to end their life, that person is viewing the individual as someone they trust.
“Whether you know what to do (or say) or not, the question can be ‘What can I do to help right now?’” she said. “‘What do you need? I know of some resources.’ It’s important to give people autonomy as long as their decision making appears to be solid. It’s about exploring options and what they’re willing to do. That’s a key component in CALM.”
Counseling on Access to Lethal Means (CALM) is a practical intervention for increasing the time and distance between individuals at risk of suicide and lethal means, particularly firearms. CALM is the oldest and most widely used training on lethal means safety and teaches why access to lethal means matters.
“If an individual feels comfortable, CALM is the next step conversation, whether it’s with a professional or someone else,” said Haskins. “If someone acknowledges they are thinking about ending their life and has access to firearms, that should be addressed because it’s one of the most highly lethal means.”
Removing firearms from a suicidal individual requires forethought and sensitivity. Those who own or have access to firearms are more likely to allow a trusted friend to hold their firearms temporarily rather than handing them over to a law enforcement officer.
“This isn’t about infringing on anyone’s rights. It’s about having a conversation about safety,” said Haskins. “We work hard to frame the message so the message doesn’t stop as soon as we say ‘firearm.’ Saying ‘Can I hold your firearms for you temporarily?’ sends a different message. ‘Hold’ means care and safe keeping, not removing possessions or rights.”
It’s important to acknowledge that farming communities value firearm ownership. Hunting is a part of rural identity and a method of socialization and recreation. Be thoughtful with phrasing, and if an individual isn’t willing to cooperate with off-site firearm storage, think of other ways to present them with the message “Help those around you to not worry so much.”
Haskins said medications should be part of the suicide conversation. Many homes have medications that could be abused for a suicide attempt, but those medications can be safely stored and out of reach as well.
Removing access to potentially lethal medication can be done in a way that’s sensitive while meeting the individual’s needs so they aren’t left without medication. Work on a plan to leave a small quantity of medication, with a way for them to get more as needed.
“For most individuals who are suffering and thinking about suicide, the decision is lightning fast,” said Haskins. “We also know those individuals have secretly hoped someone would ask them questions. Rural communities have so many strengths – they rally with individuals, help each other out, bring meals to homes. Rural communities are well-equipped to be the listening ear for someone – they might just need more information and a direction to start.”
If anyone believes someone is at risk, it’s critical to have that tough conversation and get it out in the open. Photo by K. Llewellyn
If there’s still concern about someone who says they aren’t thinking about suicide, Haskins suggested asking, “If you ever thought about if you got in that really bad place, how would you keep yourself safe?”
“It’s okay to approach such conversation early,” said Haskins. “The standard for healthcare professionals is ‘Are you thinking about suicide? How are you thinking about doing this?’”
Whether a death is accidental or intentional, the loss of a family member reverberates through the family for generations. Research confirms that when a suicide occurs, 135 other people are impacted.
Whether or not suicide “runs in families” is a complicated topic. “We do know that for an individual who has experienced the loss of someone close by suicide, their suicide risk is greater,” said Haskins. “Healthcare professionals pay attention to that.”
If someone follows through with suicide, those close to the individual should seek support and care for themselves. “The impact suicide can have on an individual is significant,” said Haskins. “There’s a lot of ‘Did I miss something?’ As human beings, we think ‘What could I have done differently?’ We tend to beat ourselves up, even though we made an effort.”
Suicide hotlines sometimes receive calls from distraught individuals who have been impacted by suicide, and such hotlines can be a valuable resource for families and friends.
Healthcare workers often deal with the aftermath of death. “We have to debrief when we lose someone, especially if we’ve worked with the individual for a long time,” said Haskins. “It can be disheartening with sadness, grief, distress and the ‘what ifs.’ We owe it to ourselves to find support and a way to process.”
The important first step after experiencing suicide is to acknowledge the feelings that cause distress so the next generation doesn’t feel the impact.
“This is not an easy conversation for anyone,” said Haskins. “Not for healthcare professionals or communities … I hope people who have had the training have something to think about and ideas about how to help others and give them resources to extend the conversation.”
Everyone can familiarize themselves with suicide hotline numbers and be prepared to use them. Haskins encouraged individuals and communities to engage in conversation early on, express concern and provide resources. If anyone believes someone is at risk, it’s critical to have that tough conversation and get it out in the open.
“Rural communities are a blessing to America,” said Haskins. “They have so many talents and offer society so much, and it’s those abilities that offer an opportunity to offer solutions to a serious problem.”
The national suicide and crisis hotline is available free, 24/7/365, by dialing 988.
Help for farmer-veterans is available at veteranscrisisline.net.
Communities interested in CALM training, virtual or in-person, can contact AgriSafe Network at agrisafe.org/resource/conversations-on-access-to-lethal-means-calm-training.
by Sally Colby
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