Country Folks has some Halloween fun

Here are the silly, spooky stories we printed in our Oct. 30, 2024 editions. Have a happy and safe Halloween!

Ghostly tradition continues at Harvest Hollow Farm

For generations, locals have whispered about eerie happenings at the old barn on Harvest Hollow Farm. This year, those rumors have been confirmed, but not in the way you might expect. Rather than a haunting, the barn has become the site of a lighthearted Halloween tradition – one that involves the farm’s very own ghostly residents.

Farmer Joe Harper, whose family has owned the farm for over a century, reported strange occurrences in the barn over the past month. From glowing footprints to floating livestock, the typically quiet structure seemed to come alive in the days leading up to Halloween.

“I’ve heard stories from my grandparents, but I never believed them until now,” Harper said. “I went to check on the barn, and next thing I knew, I was meeting the ghosts of my ancestors.”

According to Harper, the ghosts introduced themselves as the McAllisters, the original founders of the farm. They explained that every year, around Halloween, they return to celebrate the harvest with the farm animals. While it may sound spooky, Harper insists there’s nothing sinister about the activity.

“They’re friendly as can be,” he laughed. “Turns out, the ghosts have been keeping an eye on the farm all along, making sure everything is in order. They even throw a little Halloween party for the animals.”

Witnesses claim to have seen cows floating gently above the barn floor and chickens suspended in midair, flapping their wings as if they were performing some kind of ghostly dance. The animals, however, appeared completely calm, even enjoying the experience.

“It’s harmless fun,” Harper shrugged. “The ghosts just bring a bit of Halloween magic to the farm. It’s like they’re keeping up the old tradition of celebrating the end of the harvest.”

Ghosts like pumpkin pie, right?

Harper noted that this year he has been invited to join the ghostly gathering. He plans to participate by bringing a pumpkin pie, made with a family recipe passed down for generations. “I never thought I’d be making a pie for ghosts, but I guess there’s a first time for everything,” he joked.

Local historians have confirmed that the McAllisters were indeed the original owners of Harvest Hollow Farm, having settled in the area in the mid-1800s. While ghost stories are common in rural folklore, this playful take on a haunting has captured the imagination of the community.

“It’s not often you hear about friendly ghosts taking care of a farm,” said Martha Gilmore, one of the local historian. “But it adds a bit of charm to the area. Who knew our barns had such rich, otherworldly histories?”

As for Halloween night, Harper said he’s looking forward to the festivities. “I’m ready for a good time,” he said. “If the pigs start dancing like they say, I’ll know the ghosts are having their fun.”

The people of Harvest Hollow may not be surprised by the odd happenings at Harper’s barn, but this Halloween, one thing is clear: some traditions go beyond the grave.

The night of the zombie chickens

Farmer Pete was getting ready for his favorite holiday, Halloween. He’d decorated the barn with cobwebs and pumpkins, and the farm was looking spooky. But something strange was afoot in the chicken coop. One night, Pete heard strange noises coming from outside – clucking, but it sounded… off.

The next morning, Pete headed out to check on his chickens, and what he found left him speechless. His usually lively flock was slow, clumsy and wobbling around the yard. Their eyes looked glassy, and they kept bumping into each other like they’d lost their minds. Terrified, Pete jumped to the only logical conclusion: his chickens had turned into zombies.

Pete panicked and rushed back into the farmhouse. He grabbed the phone to call his neighbor, Farmer Sue. “The chickens! They’ve gone zombie on me! They’re staggering around like they’ve been raised from the dead!”

Sue, trying not to laugh, told Pete to stay calm. “Maybe it’s just Halloween jitters,” she said, but Pete wasn’t convinced.

That night, Pete set up a stakeout. Armed with a flashlight, he hid behind the barn to watch the chickens. He expected to see them rise from their coop in a spooky parade, but instead, he saw something else – a pile of crabapples lying near the chicken run. Pete scratched his head, wondering where they came from.

As he continued to watch, one of his chickens wobbled over and took a big bite of an apple. When it finished the treat, it immediately started staggering and wobbling even more than before. Realization dawned on Pete: the apples must have fallen from the orchard, fermented on the ground and the chickens have been feasting on them all night long.

His “zombie chickens” aren’t zombies at all – they’re just tipsy!

Relieved but amused, Pete set to work cleaning up the fallen apples to prevent more drunken poultry drama. The next morning, the chickens seem back to their usual selves, clucking happily and pecking at the ground. Pete couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation. He told Farmer Sue, who spread the story around town, and soon Pete’s farm becomes known as the place with the legendary “zombie chickens.”

On Halloween night, Pete got an unexpected visit from a group of trick-or-treaters. Instead of the usual candy requests, they’d come to see the zombie chickens for themselves. Pete grinned and, with a wink, led them to the coop. As if on cue, one chicken wobbled out and bumped into a fence post. The kids screamed in delight, convinced they’ve just witnessed the start of a zombie chicken apocalypse.

Pete tipped back his hat, enjoying the spooky, silly fame.

A perfect fit for a U-cut operation

by D. Baron Samedi

The Elk Grove Christmas Tree Farm may be focused on the upcoming yuletide, but rather than having to wait for a Christmas miracle, the farm got an early happy Halloween happening.

“Like everyone else in this economy,” said farm manager Nick Ronoma-Cahn, “we’re definitely pinching every penny. That’s why when we find a way to save money, we grab it and hold onto it with both… Ah, man. I feel weird saying it.”

Nick is referring to his new farmworker, a good-natured itinerant individual who’s learned to take life’s punches on the chin.

Nick’s new employee, Ash, is just what he was looking for in a tree harvester. An amputee, in place of his right hand Ash has affixed a Homelite XL chainsaw.

“He’s amazing with that thing!” Nick mused. “I think he’s had a lot of practice with it.” Nick predicts that come Christmastime, Ash will be able to mow down Christmas trees as quickly as customers line up for them.

Ash does have a lot to learn about the Christmas tree business, said Nick. Nick explained to him that certain years reflect certain trends, and that no one wanted eight-foot trees anymore. “When I told him that eight feet was a ‘dead height,’ he freaked out and shouted ‘Deadite?!’ I don’t know why he got so worked up, or why he pronounced it like that. Maybe it’s a Michigan thing. I think he said that’s where he was from.”

Best of all, Ash is willing to work for room and board – and somewhere safe to park his 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale.

Despite a friendly demeanor and a million-watt smile, Ash is a little possessive about certain tools. “One day, he was doing a great job cleaning up, but when someone tried to use some of the equipment he had claimed, he really let them have it and yelled ‘This… is MY BROOMSTICK!” Nick laughed.

Ash mostly keeps to himself, often looking over his shoulder for some reason. When asked what he thought about his new position at Elk Grove, his reply was brief: “Groovy.”